There have been four lighthouses on Cape San Blas and three of them have fallen into the sea. That’s why the fourth one looks more like an erector set than traditional brick lighthouse. They wanted to be able to move it the next time the sea decided it wanted to move in. These are comforting … Continue reading
You may think of Carabelle as a speed trap on the way to St. George Island, but it is more than that, it also is home to the World’s Smallest Police Station. Maybe that is why Carabelle Public Beach looks like the set of a slasher movie, complete with 70’s style cement picnic pavilions with … Continue reading
St. George Island State Park is the comfort food of Tallahassee day trips. Everyone tells me to go there. “You’ll love it,” they say over and over. They said it so many times that I decided I would hate it just to be different. I parked at one of the two picnic pavilions and walked … Continue reading
It’s official, there is nothing close to a mountain in Florida. “But what about Torreya,” people say. Those people are dumb and have never seen a mountain. Yes, in Torreya you can walk uphill for more than ten steps without needing a ladder, but that is not the definition of a mountain. Interestingly, experts don’t … Continue reading
If you go to the Miccosukee Greenway, please look for the half lung I coughed up trying to run from one end of the park to the other. I would have stopped to rest on one of the many benches along the greenway’s trails, but I tragically chose to run at the same time as … Continue reading
When my friend asked me if I wanted to go kayaking on the Wacissa River, I thought he needed help disposing of a body, but he actually just wanted to go kayaking. After surviving the terrors of a canoe at Ochlockonee River State Park, I thought it was time to give death another chance at … Continue reading
Lake Ella is a date utopia. It is even shaped like a heart (if you are a drug user and upside down and really want to believe in shit like lakes shaped like hearts). There is an ice cream shop, a coffee shop, a sandwich shop, a lake to walk around with lots of benches … Continue reading
Goodwood is not just a great porn title for your next home movie, it is also a fantastic antebellum plantation house located in the middle of Tallahassee. Don’t be disappointed though, it’s a fantastic place for a date so Goodwood can still get you laid. Grab someone sexy and wander around the grounds on a pretty … Continue reading
I pushed aside a platoon of 5th graders to claim a prime spot underneath the curving tusks of the museum’s mastodon skeleton. Staring up at it, you can’t help but wonder about the ancient world when creatures the size of houses roamed around. “Look at that T-Rex food,” I said. “Tyrannosaurs Rex is a dinosaur,” a … Continue reading
I couldn’t quite figure out why Myers Park existed. It’s nice, I suppose. It could even be great if there were a little league game going on with cheap hot dog sales so that I could irrationally cheer like mad for one of the teams. Alas, the baseball diamond was empty and the rest of … Continue reading
Day Trip Tallahassee 